Man United FC - the religion?

Posted by Reeves on November 4, 2003, 04:15:35 PM

Reeves writes:

Man United FC - the religion? There's a difference between a philosophy and a bumper sticker.

I am sure that you don?t need reminding of the fact that this weekend there?s the small matter of a game between this country?s two most successful clubs. On the one hand, there?s Liverpool. Four times Champions of Europe and winners of 18 League Championships. Undisputedly, the cocks of the north and undisputedly the kings of English football. Honour, dominance, courage, character and wisdom.

On the other hand we have the poorer cousin of the legendary Scouse greats, Manchester United PLC. Undisputedly rich with wealth, fat cheque books, Eastern sweat shops, commercialism personified and a blinding prawn sandwich turnover. There?s no doubt that they are a successful club. Their manager, in his longevity, has brought tremendous success to the Manc?s realm, but nevertheless, with all their recent silverware, there is one thing their wealth cannot buy - heart and soul.

Parallels may be drawn between the respective club?s success on the field and even their geographical proximity, but that my friends are where any parallels end.

We?re rather more like the mythological equivalent of Zeus, to the Manc?s Hades. When brothers Zeus and Hades divided up creation. Hades got the Underworld and Zeus took the sky.

Whether it?s ?Whelan?s curled it?, ?Barnes chips?brilliant?, ?Murphy?s curled it round the wall?or the Huyton Hammer rocketing one in from near on 40 yards, something quite special usually happens when we play ?them?. They may try and dampen our fervour with an early kick off time, but next Sunday will be no different.

No doubt we?ll be subjected to the ritual ?in our Liverpool slums? and ?if you all hate scousers????but why? It?ll be rather ironic that the Mancs will have to drive past the ?European City of Culture? signs before they enter our glorious city. Statistics released this week show Manchester to be the Crime Capital of the UK. Will that in any way serve to prevent them having a go at us? No, of course not, for manifest jealousy will ignore such ?indiscretions?.

We, Kopites, in our unmerciful way, use humour, verse and glorification as a poisoned cocktail to deal with our adversaries. ?You?ll Never Walk Alone?, ?Fields of Anfield Road? and ?Scouser Tommy? will echo around Anfield, whilst the Mancs will be busy ripping off John Denver classics.

Our club isn?t the crazed commercialization of the once beautiful game, but rather the epitome of the last culture within it.

The atmosphere on Sunday will not be in need of stoking, but cast your mind back to the fiery European night of Roma, when queues to obtain tickets were six hours long and a lucky 44,000 scousers in the ground all thanked Abbad Rashid and his medical team for their efforts in which, after an 11 hour operation to repair one man?s aorta, we welcomed home Gerard Houllier.

Red scarf blowing in the wind, his lean and hollow face exposed to the elements, in our hour and a half of need, he came back to lead us. We welcomed Houllier back in to our family and the warmth of his gesture must never be forgotten.

That man will be out there on Sunday and will need all the support that you can muster. A new attacking style of play is rushing like fire through the corridors of Anfield and it?s our corporate cousins who are next in the firing line.

Our lesser Lancastrian counterparts will walk underneath the famous emblem ?This is Anfield?. They?ll want to take on our eleven generals, but first they must deal with our infantry.

Let the Kop?s satirical sword go deep within their psyche and let us use the pent up anger of a Mersyside culture, for decades belittled by the media, to engulf our opponents and roar us to victory.

Let us turn Anfield into a fortress. A cauldren of noise and a forest of flags. A bastion of invincibility. Good versus evil. Let Houllier be our Napolean, let the Kop be Herculean and let the battle commence.

This is a Red call to arms - Sunday's the time to deliver.

? Reeves 2003

To the tune of John Denver?s ?Country Road?

Fuck off home, to Cornwall.
You went to Cardiff and won fuck all.
Steven Gerrard, Michael Owen
Sent you back, to Cornwall.

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