New stadium set to break technology barriers.

Posted by hoonin on December 20, 2007, 03:01:28 PM

Despite rumours suggesting the club are encountering problems with the long proposed ground move, RAWK can exclusively reveal today that Liverpool Football Clubs new stadium is to go ahead. Further to this positive news it has also been confirmed the stadium will break new ground for sporting venues by smashing through existing conventional technology barriers.

You can forget the bland and soulless ParryBowl design that re-appeared again this week.  In what will undoubtedly be hailed as a feat of engineering ingenuity, “New” Anfield will be the first stadium ever to be constructed entirely out of vapour, thin air and empty words.

In case you needed reminding, here’s an abridged timeline:

Jan 2001 - Plans to move to a 70,000 seater stadium announced. These are later scraped when the ~£120M costs are deemed too expensive.
May 2002 - Club reveals designs for ParryBowl and announces new stadium will be ready for 2004-2005 season at a cost of ~£70M.
2002-2007 - In successive failed attempts at hawking the club to secure funding for the project, Parry clocks up enough air miles to single handedly warm the planet by a few more degrees.
July 2007 - 6 ½ years after a move was first mooted and 5 years after ParryBowl, “stunning” new designs unveiled to widespread acclaim.
Dec 2007 - As in 2001, plans to implement “stunning” design scaled back again, with cost cited....again
Dec 2007 - Reports appear that the club are unable to secure funding for the entire project , a mere 10 months after selling it’s heritage to two men based on their promises to fund the new stadium.

With supporters questioning whether a new stadium will come before a manned mission to Mars, Tom Hicks & George Gillett were unavailable for comment today. Maybe tomorrow? What’s a few days on the back of 7 years of mis-management at the highest level of the club?

Look, if some of you think there are unanswered questions on the pitch right now, think again. There are far more OFF it that need answering. Some that have been open since 2001.

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