Spyin' Kop - Mancs at Home

Posted by Olly on September 15, 2005, 10:00:59 AM

In advance of this season's first clash between the North West's greatest sporting friendly rivals Olly has interviewed Ian Chapman who is regrettably of the Mancunian persuasion:

First off, any chance you can briefly explain what has been going on at your Team Manchester (sorry….your club) over the summer?

Simply speaking going from the richest club in the world to the most in debt club in the world.

How would you describe this Malcolm Glazer bloke?

A poisoned bearded dwarf gimp.

Now in all seriousness isn’t the chanting of “Not for Sale” a little strange? I can’t remember any of your fans complaining too much after winning the league for a few seasons on the back of all the money gained from becoming a PLC in the early 1990’s. Surely all of your fans must have expected the club to be sold at some stage?

It’s a fair point but you have to feel as though you can make a difference. It is all down to who has actually come in. He is genuinely bad news and that is what caused the uproar. He is not a bottomless pit of money like the rent boys have. The amount of debt he has placed on us is crazy and how he was allowed to do that I don’t know. You only have to look at what he has done to Tampa Bay - yes they won the Super Bowl but they have been shite ever since. He has priced out a lot of fans out of going to watch them and even sued some of them for not renewing their season tickets!

He has even sued his own family FFS. He doesn't care about the fans or our history, he will simply try and make money by any means necessary. It all looks as though it has died down but you watch what happens next season. It is true that to make money out of us the team has to be successful on the pitch but many of us wont be able to go and watch the lads when he puts the prices up and how else is he going to make his cash? We are already very close to the limits that many of us can afford anyway.

There have been all sorts of comments made about boycotts – boycotts of sponsors, home games, season tickets etc. Is this actually happening? Is any impact being made? Have people actually stopped turning up to games?

It’s a strange situation. Some lads I know have stopped totally and have gone to watch FC United. Others like me would find it really difficult to give up going to watch United no matter who is in charge of the club. Personally, I will continue to fight from within by not buying any merchandise, not buying refreshments at the ground, cancelling my Vodaphone contract, not buying a programme or Budweiser!

It may sound stupid the fact that I am still going to the games and feeding him by giving him my money, but if I didn’t go some other muppet would go and they would probably spend money on the extras. In all honesty, it may not make a difference in the grand scheme of things but at least it makes me feel that I am fighting this tosser.

And this new club some of the fans have created – I have the utmost respect for the people doing this, as I do for those involved at AFC Wimbledon. How are things going with this?

Very well. This idea was started before Glazer took over. It is not just about him, it is about football being run for the fans by the fans. Games at 3 o clock on a Saturday? What's that? Exactly the opposite to what modern football has become. They are getting good crowds and have got a good team for that level of football. It's all about being able to go a game and standing with your mates, being able to have a beer, say what you want and sing what you want.

How has the season been shaping up for you so far?

It's too early to say but the signs are much better than last year. We look like scoring goals this year and we have brought well in Van Der Saar and Hong Kong Fooey. In saying that we havnt played anybody of note yet.

What are your expectations for this season?

Champions. With our squad we should be challenging or at least be a lot closer than last year. Fergie has finally realised that 4-5-1 is shite. I still think that we are a little light in central midfield if anyone gets injured but at least he realised that Klebfoot and the Djemba twins were crap and got shot of them. Same story in Europe, qualify for the quarters and then be totally devoid of ideas against the top European sides.

Who do you think is your most important player(s)?

Ruud. He showed how important he is to us last year when he was injured. Anyone would miss 30 goals a season. Also it is important that Van Der Saar maintains his current form. You do not win leagues without a quality keeper and we lacked that last year.

Your worst player(s)?

I never like to slag off the lads and I can't really now that Kleberson and the Djemba twins have left – they were genuinely that bad. In saying that Liam Miller is pretty woeful and a lot of the players think that as well.

Do you have a particular memory of any previous meeting between our clubs?

Eric’s winner in the 96 cup final – still don’t know how he scored that. Pure genius.

Any young up and coming players in the squad that we might not know about?

The young lad Rossi is definitley one to watch – very sharp in and around the box. A natural finisher. He has started to make it onto the bench for the first team now. There are a few others that may make the grade as well, David Jones, Gerard Pique and Sylvan Ebanks-Blake.

How have your fans taken to the Granny Loving Rooney and Smith – two players who signed from two clubs whose fans, I think it’s fair to say, despise Manchester United?

Of course we would much rather be a side without scousers or Leeds players. They had a lot of winning over to do and I think that they have done that. The fact that these two players were the ones that showed the most United “characteristics” out of anyone last year helped – it also hurt that some of our regular lads didn’t show the same at times. The main thing is that they wanted to play for United and it took big balls to do that. They could have stayed in their respective hell holes but they showed that they wanted to play for us and that has been shown in their performances. It is funny to see that we can make fans that worshipped them totally despise them in a matter of minutes.

Would you prefer a pre-season friendly in Altrincham, or one in S. Korea?

Alty. If only for the climate.

What sort of line-up will you put out against us?
 
I heard that Fergie is going to bring in Norman Whiteside just to kick sh*t out of anyone in a red shirt as well as Gordon Strachan to smoke another cigar in front of the Kop.

What’s your worst chant?

We don’t have any bad ones! Alright, I suppose ”If you all hate scousers clap you hands” is up there, only because it’s the only song that the day trippers know and think that they’ll fit in if they sing it. Our chants are far better and original enough not to be singing that at home to the likes of West Brom.

Do you enjoy your trips to Anfield?

It’s the one game (along with City away) that I look forward to the most in a season although I am probably not going to enjoy this one as much as we are going to get the number 5 shoved up our arses. It’s a strange feeling to go to a place where you know that everyone hates you as much you despise them. It gets you all rared up, full of tension and nerves. My mood for the next week is decided by 90 minutes of football but of course I enjoy it if we win. The atmosphere is usually good to start with but can go a bit quiet. It’s the same as Old Trafford, the away fans are great but you get a lot of mongs at the home games. I particularly love the shop that advertises perms in Neon lights as you come in on the main road towards the football grounds. You couldn't script that.

Where do you expect Liverpool to finish in the Premier League?

4th. No higher. Although you have made strides and will continue to do so under a manager that I think is good, I still think that you lack the world class players needed to win the league. You are still too reliant on your captain, just as we were when Robbo was in his prime.

Which Liverpool player will you fear the most?
 
None of them really. I think that if you stop Gerrard then you pretty much stop you.

How did you react as Alonso scored the rebound from his saved penalty to make it 3-3 in the European Cup Final?

I felt sick. Exactly the same way as you would have done if it had been the other way round. I got totally twatted and went home and watched highlights of our Treble win in 99 to make me feel better. I also didn’t watch the TV or buy a newspaper for about 2 weeks. A horrible night.

What has been the most boring football story of the summer for you?

Any stories related to transfers.

Care to predict the score? Go on!
 
I never ever predict United scores - as long as we win I don’t care. It will be close as usual decided by one goal.

And lastly, Rio Ferdinand seems like a decent modern day footballer, in touch with everyday life and happy to put something back into the community? Do you agree?

Don’t get me started. The bloke is a greedy c*nt. He has showed such a lack of respect for the fans who paid his wages for 8 months for being a dopey twat. As good a player as he is, no player is bigger than the club. Tosser.

Our thanks to Ian for his answers.  It's customary on these occasions to wish Ian best of luck for the rest of the season but I'm afraid my keyboard appears to be on the blink ...

© Olly 2005

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