The Alternate Preview: Fackin' Tim Talks abarrt Spursh (I then talk about LFC!)

Posted by Harinder on March 24, 2014, 01:27:34 PM



Mothering Sunday. AGAIN!!!

Tim. Timoffy. Shurrwood. Geezah. Dejected. Arsenal fan.

Lots of facking.

He came from the shadows with a 90s shellsuit and gillet fashion with a desire to play the beautiful game. Daniel Levy has given him a chance and he's repaid that opportunity with an interview*. We were allowed 5 questions which he cut down to fwee, I mean three.

1. How have you found the challenge management has presented you?

Well is been awwwight n dat. I'm all abaat heart and ver lads ain't been short of da bits and bobs for games innit. But fack me geezah deeze ovvers yeh dat don't pull there weight n that just piss me right off. Das me challinge right there bruv. I got dis one lad Evvic summin or dee ovver and woss he done? Fackin' nuffin. No wondah he's called Lame-ellah. Firty milyun for 'im.

I'm 'ere. Sevvin in da mornin' til ten at night. Yer won't see dat from Zidane. Me old Jack Walkah were right. Me missis 'as got thee 'ump cos I'm shoutin' Haddeebahyour in me sleep and Evvikson n dat. Me kids don't know oooh aye am and me dog finks she's Rosie. Fackin 'Arry. And don't get me startid on Haye Vee Bee. 'Im an his doff dahn me like a kipper

2. What do you think will happen next season?

Look son. I ain't goin' nowhere. I ain't. Going nowhere. I can't be stopped lad. I'm a bad Tim fer life. Leevie ain't takin' me out der game. And dat Glin Hoddil can shaht it in all. I'm plannin' fer next seasin. Me scowtin' team is ready for the summer mate. Dey are watchin twitter and moles an' wot not cos Liverpool 'av provided us some great scalps over de years. None of em 'av worked owwt for us but it's plannin' innit?

Ize got a vision. Pace down der flanks, Heeemanyoull knockin' em in. Like your boyz iss po-itt-ree in motions. Andwoss will make dat dream come true. I believe he can fly. He'll be our next Garriff. Didjya see him on Sunday night in el Classeeco? Neva stopped runnin'. Nuffin' came of it mind you but he ran and ran and ran and ran.

Bit like me when we do nuffin' this seasin.

3. Finally, what will happen on Sunday?

Well son it's Muvverin' Sunday innit sah I gotta sort de 'ome side out. Once dats done I'll take me dog Rambo, sowwy Rosie, for a walk so she can do 'er bizniss. Although de missis 'as  alweady said I can't come home without Flowers I ain't got the heart to tell her I ain't seen that Tim since de Blackbirn daze. 
She'll have to make do wiv me rendition of Bwenda Wussell's "Peeanna in der dark".

Tune lad. Tune.

-interjection- The match Tim, what about the match?

Nuffin' mate. We're doomed.

*he didn't really, the above is a parody not to be taken seriously. Bit like Spurs over the last 20 years or so.

I'll end a look at Spurs with something I mentioned in December last year when Brendan said he nearly went there... his "close shave" so to speak

In the period they've had 11 managers we've had around 11 trophies 

1 - League Cup, 1995
2 - League Cup, 2001
3 - FA Cup, 2001
4 - UEFA Cup, 2001
5 - European Super Cup, 2001
6 - FA Charity Shield, 2001
7 - League Cup, 2003
8 - Champions League, 2005
9 - FA Cup, 2006
10 - FA Charity Shield 2006
11 - League Cup 2012


Liverpool - what a difference a year makes?!

Post Match too!!!

We're the best off set pieces statistically. 27 goals from them if we include penalties ( 8 ). We are scoring freely. 82 goals already to our credit. Suarez and Sturridge are rewriting history. We are there witnessing it. Week in week out I pray to anything and everything there is nothing unforeseen that means I won't get to the match at the weekend. I don't want to miss this ride. We are possibly the most creative in a way that if Carlsberg did creativity...

We play with swagger and confidence. We don't do 1-0. We don't know where this rollercoaster can take us. The promised land beckons as does league champions heaven.
What else do we need? His second season is not even over. He came without the pedigree CV we all expected. He's written one in the best way possible whilst being here. Thank you Brendan Rodgers. Once divisive as a figure while the jury was out. Now all conquering with a team of fighters. One thing that has stuck with me from his time of arrival is the quote about players along the line of " train dogs, I like to educate players".

Of those that we can consider educated I include me. I wasn't sure what to make of him. A little surprised I guess at first. I recall watching the first of those friendlies in the US and wanting to see pass, pass, pass. Instead I saw pass, pass , pass out, oooh wakey wakey Harinder. We weren't scintillating. I was expecting too much too soon. And then it came. A bit stuttered at first but boy they came. Throughout 2013 as a whole we've seen things we never thought we would. In 2014 we are unbeaten.

Unbeaten ladies and gentleman. Who'd have thought that? We look at each fixture and each element of nervousness prior to kick off is stripped away piece by piece. Just ask Arsene Wenger. He came, he saw, he left beaten. We are the form team. Since that win over Arsenal we have only seen wins in the League. So form dictates this should be a walk in the park. Rightfully I feel nervous saying that. It doesn't seem right. It seems disingenuous about our opposition and somewhat guilty of taking them too lightly. So are we being complacent or are we putting our faith in this team that believes it can take on the world?

I am not too young to remember the last time. In 1989 I was 12. Hurting from all of what as around me at the time and Hillsborough memories of images and reports still causing me to try and understand what happened. We won the FA Cup and that winning goal photo adorns my walls having been signed by Ian Rush himself. Michael Thomas ruined the party. There was always someone or something runing the party. The year before it Laurie Sanchez and Wimbledon. Winning is what we did. It was our DNA.

89/90 season I was, as you would assume. Thirteen. Not so much moody teenager but more listen to your mum and dad and what they don't know won't hurt them. WWF (yes F) was played in the arcades and winning was what we did. Even with the Ultimate Warrior and a fella "flying from the top ropes". Liverpool and results just went hand in hand. We just won. We knew we would and we did. Southampton were still a bogey team of sorts for us but nonetheless we coasted the league and were champions by a country mile. I love that I can still recall that feeling and being enough of a kid to have a school bag saying "Liverpool FC - Champions".

I want that bag again. Brendan does too. He believes. I think the players do too.

Who am I to go against that belief? If we believe like they do then surely that can only be a good thing.

I believe they are learning as are we. Deliver the win. Keep it going. We believe. The Under 21s do. They are top of the league. Let's join them.
Who knows? By the time this match is over we may be at the same place too  :champ

EDIT: Sunderland beaten. IT IS ON!!!

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