The Rise of The Scouse and Fall of The Romano Empire
Posted by WOOLTONIAN on May 21, 2004, 01:40:18 PM
Defining a timeline between the rise and fall of two great empires is a difficult task. The Roman Empire lasted approximately 800 years and Our Empire in Europe only spans 40 years (so far).
But within our Reign over Europe we have in fact conquered more territory than the Romans ever did. Proof? I knew you’d ask. Here's the extent of the Roman Empire:
If you add to the above, Ireland, Scotland, Norway, Sweden, Finland, USSR, Ukraine, Crimea and Iceland, you have all the territories where Liverpool have won or knocked out teams in European Competitions. The Rise of the Scouse Empire took just 15 years, and here are the links between important dates in the history of both Empires that end with The Sacking Of Rome
396 BC: Roma conquers the Etruscan city of Veii
Janus 1962: Liverpool conquer Norwich 5-4
390 BC: the Gauls sack Roma
Februa 1962: Liverpool conquer Bury
326 BC: the Circus Maximus is built
Julius 1963: Bob’s chippy in Garston is built
313 BC: the Basilica of Maxentius is completed
Septimus 1963: Garston Puppet theatre is completed on Garston Park
312 BC: the Via Appia is opened
Octavius 1963: Speke baths is opened
312 BC: the first aqueduct, the Aqua Appia, is built
Octavius 1963: The Ford Road is built
308 BC: Roma conquers the Etruscan city of Tarquinia
Aprilis 1964: Liverpool conquer Arsenal 5-0 and win the League
287 BC: the Lex Hortensia makes plebiscites binding
Julius 1964: Shankly makes Hunt’s contract binding.
280 BC: Roma issues coins
Augustus 1964: Liverpool issue tickets for Reykjavic
275 BC: Roma conquers southern Italy (Greek colonies)
Augustus/Septimus 1964: Liverpool conquer Iceland
272 BC: a second aqueduct, the Anio Vetus, is built
Octavius 1964: Garston by-pass is built
264 BC: Roma and Carthage fight the first Punic war
Numa Pompilius/Decembris 1964: Liverpool fight Anderlecht and conquer Belgium.
264 BC: the Romans destroy the last vestiges of the Etruscan civilization (Volsinies)
Mars 1965: After Three battles Liverpool conquer Germany, by sacking Cologne.
Maius 1965: Liverpool defeated in Milan, but Shankly issues the immortal warning “We shall return”
222 BC: the Gauls are defeated
Septimus 1965: The Italians are defeated when Liverpool sack Juve.
221 BC: the Circus Flaminius
Octavius 1965: the Circus “Billy Smart”
218 BC: Hannibal invades Italy
Decembris 1965: Liverpool invade Belgium and sack & loot Liege
214 BC: war machines designed by Greek mathematician Archimedes save the city of Syracuse, an ally of Carthage, from a Roman naval attack
Mars 1966: No amount of help from Archimedes can stop Liverpool from conquering Hungary, Honved raised to the ground.
202 BC: Scipio defeats Hannibal and Roma annexes Spain
Aprilis 1966: Strong defeats the Celts and Liverpool annexes Scotland
196 BC: the Romans defeat the Macedonian king Philip V at Cynoscephalae
Maius 1966: The Dortmunds defeat the Scouse King Shanks I in Glasgow.
189 BC: Antiochus III, king of the Seleucids, is defeated at the battle of Magnesia and surrenders his possessions in Europe and Asia Minor
Maius 1966: Shankly I, king of the Scousers wins the war of the English League and surrenders nothing in Europe or Asia Minor.
184 BC: the Basilica Porcia
Juno 1966: the Dove & Olive
149 BC: Roma destroys Carthage
Septimus/Octavius 1966: Liverpool destroys Petrolul but fails in Romania.
149 BC: Roma conquers Greece with the battle of Corinth (and destroys Corinth)
Octavius 1966: Liverpool defeat Petrolul on neutral territory and takes crown of Romania.
133 BC: Attalus III of Pergamum wills his kingdom to Roma and the whole Mediterranean Sea is under Roman control ("mare nostrum")
Decembri 1966: Foggy weather stalls Liverpool advance through Holland.
106 BC: the Romans defeat Jugurtha, king of Numidia
Octavius/Numa Pompilius 1967: Successes in Malmo (Sweden) and routing of Munich (Germany) overcast by defeat in Hungary.
88 BC: Italians are granted full citizenship
Juno 1968: Kirkby are granted full citizenship
83 BC: Sulla becomes dictator
Julius 1968: Sawyer becomes Director
74 BC: Cicero enters the senate
Augustus 1968: Yosser Hughes enters Anfield
73 BC: Spartacus leads the revolt of the gladiators
Augustus 1968: Anfield Road End start revolt against the Kop
64 BC: Syria becomes a Roman province
Septimus 1968: Woolton becomes a Liverpool province
63 BC: Pompeus captures Jerusalem and annexes Palestine to Roma
Septimus 1968: Liverpool captures Birkenhead and annexes Wirral to Liverpool.
53 BC: in the first war against Persia, Crassus is defeated by the Parthians at Carrhae (Syria)
Octavius 1968: in the first war against Spain, Liverpool are defeated by Bilbao
51 BC: Caesar crushes revolt of Vercingetorix in Gaul
Octavius 1968: Liverpool crushes revolt of Runcorn in Woolybackland.
49 BC: Ceasar becomes dictator
Octavius 1968: Shankly becomes Dictator of tactics
47 BC: Ceasar invades Egypt and appoints Cleopatra queen
Numa Pompilius 1968: Shankly invades Birmingham and appoints Alun Evans
45 BC: Julius Caesar employs the Egyptian astronomer Sosigenes to work out a new 12-month calendar (Julian calendar)
Janus 1969: Shankly employs English physiotherapist Paisley to work out a new strategy in Europe.
44 BC: Ceasar is killed.
Septimus 1969: Dundalk is slaughtered
31 BC: Octavianus (Augustus) becomes the first emperor after defeating Mark Anthony at the battle of Actium
Numa Pompilius 1969: Liverpool loose to Setubal on away goals.
30 BC: Cleopatra commits suicide and Egypt is annexed to Roma
Decembris 1969: Harry Catterick contemplates suicide after another poor derby performance.
20 BC: a treaty between Roma and Persia (Parthians) fixes the boundary between the two empires along the Euphrates river (Iraq)
Maius 1970: A treaty between Liverpool and Wirral fixes the boundary between the two empires along the Mersey river.
17 BC: the theater of Marcellus
Julius 1970: The theatre of “Everyman”
13 BC: Augustus expands the borders to the region of the Danube
Septimus-Decembris 1970: Shankly expands the borders with victories over Ferencevaros, Bucharest and Hibernian.
6 BC: Jesus is born in Palestine
Mars 1971: Alun Evans scores THREE against the mighty Bayern
1 AD: Roma has about one million people
Aprilis 1971: Liverpool has about one million fans
2 AD: the Forum of Augustus
Aprilis 1971: The Forum of RAOTL and RAWK
5 AD: Roma acknowledges Cymbeline, King of the Catuvellauni, as king of Britain
Maius 1971: Scousers acknowledge Shankly, King of the Liverpulians, as King of Britain.
6 AD: Augustus expands the borders to the Balkans
Septimus-Numa Pompilius 1971: Shankly expands the borders to Geneva, but surrenders Munich.
12 AD: The last Etruscan inscription is carved
Janus 1972: The first graffiti inscription is carved in a Liverpool dance hall "Vidi Vici Veni" We Saw her, We Conquered her, We Came!
14 AD: Augustus dies and Tiberius becomes emperor
Maius 1972: My Grandad Peter dies and my Dad becomes emperor.
14 AD: five million people live in the Roman empire
Maius 1972: Five million people support Liverpool Football Club.
25 AD: Agrippa builds the Pantheon
Juno 1972: My arl fellah builds a shed.Pantheon exhibits evidence of early Scouse graffiti artist
37 AD: Tiberius dies and the mad Caligula succeeds him
Septimus-Octavius 1972: Frankfurt killed and AEK Athens succeed them
41 AD: Caligula is assassinated and is succeeded by Claudius
Octavius-Numa Pompilius 1972: AEK Athens are murdered and are succeeded by Dynamo
43 AD: Claudius invades Britain
Numa Pompilius 1972: Liverpool invade Berlin
46 AD: Thracia becomes a Roman province
Decembris 1972-Mars 1973: Germany becomes a Scouse province as Liverpool beat Berlin and Dresden
50 AD: the Romans found Londinium in Britain
Aprilis 1973: We found Spurs in Londinium and won on away goals
54 AD: Claudius is succeeded by Nero
Aprilis 1973: I Claudius is on the telly, while Liverpool win the League (That’s 8 for those who are counting)
58 AD: the Romans conquer Armenia
Maius 1973: Liverpool conquer Borussia Moenchengladbach at Anfield
64 AD: Nero sets fire to Roma and blames the Christians for it
Maius 1973: Keegan sets the pitch on fire as we are crowned UEFA Cup Champions.
68 AD: Nero commits suicide and is succeeded by Vespasianus
Octavius 1973: Jeuness D’Esch commits suicide at Anfield
79 AD: Vespasianus is succeeded by Tito
Numa Pompilius 1973: Red Star Belgrade end short European campaign.
70 AD: Tito destroys Jerusalem and Jews spread in Armenia, Iraq, Iran, Arabia, Egypt, Italy, Spain and Greece
Maius 1974: Shankly destroys Newcastle 3-0 at Wembley and Liverpudlianism spread to all corners of the globe (how does a globe have corners)
77 AD: the Romans conquer Wales
Juno 1974: Scousers conquer Rhyl and Prestatyn
78 AD: Leadership in Rome debated
Julius 1974: Fans weep openly in the Street as Shankly calls it a day.
79 AD: the Vesuvius erupts and Pompeii is buried under ash.
Anfield erupts and Stromsgodset are buried under 11 goals.
Octavius-Numa Pompilius 1974: Paisley blows his stack as Liverpool are buried by Ferencvaros.
79 AD: the Colosseum is completed
Juno-Augustus 1975: The New stand is built
80 AD: the Romans invade Caledonia (Scotland)
Septimus 1975: So do we and knock Hibernian out of the Uefa
81 AD: the Arch of Titus
Octavius 1975: The Arches of The Bullring
84 AD: British rebels are defeated by the Romans at the battle of Mons Graupius
Numa Pompilius 1975: The Spanish “Royals” are defeated by Liverpool at the battle of Sociedad
98 AD: Trajan becomes emperor
Decembris 1975: Wroclaw falls under hat-trick from Case
100: the city of Roma has one million inhabitants
Janus 1976: The City of Liverpool has One Million and ONE inhabitants
106: Trajan defeats Dacia that becomes a Roman province
Mars 1976: Liverpool defeats Dresden and Germany becomes a Liverpool province AGAIN
106: Trajan captures the Nabataean capital Petra (Jordan) and turns Nabataea into the province of Arabia
Mars 1976: Toshack captures the Catalan capital of Barcelona and turns Benidorm into the province of Piss-Upia.
110: the Basilica of Trajano is completed
Mars 1976: St Johns Market is Completed
112: the Forum of Trajanu
Earlius Aprilis 1976: The Forum of YNWA & Shanklygates
113: Colonna Traiana
Easterius 1976: Colonna RHYL
116: Trajan conquers Mesopotamia and the Parthian capital Ctesiphon
Latius Aprilis 1976: Keegan conquers Bruges with help from Kennedy and Case
117: Trajan dies on his way to the Persian Gulf and Hadrian becomes emperor
Maius 1976: Fans get slaughtered on their way to Belgium by Ferry and Keegan becomes emperor after 1-1 draw
122: Hadrian's Wall is built along the northern frontier to protect from the Barbarians
Maius 1976: Liverpool’s trophy cabinet is built to house all the trophies of past and future Triumphs
132: Jews, led by Bar-Cochba, whom some identify as the new Messiah, revolt against Roma
Maius 1976: Liverpudlians, led by Paisley, whom some identify as the new Messiah, lift the League Championship for the 9th time against the Wolverine Tribes.
134: Villa Hadriana
Julius 1976: Villa in the sun on the Costa del Sol.
136: Emperor Hadrian definitely crushes the Jewish resistance, forbids Jews from ever entering Jerusalem, and changes the name of the city to Aelia Capitolina
Augustus 1976: Emperor Paisley definitely crushes the Norwich resistance 1-0, forbids Norwichians from ever entering the City of Liverpool again, and changes the name of their city to Shitus Holeus.
161: Marcus Aurelius becomes Roman emperor
Augustus 1976- Maius 1977: Fairclough becomes Supersub
164: the plague spreads throughout the Roman empire
Septimus 1976: Treblemania spreads throughout the Liverpool Empire.
214: Caracalla murders King Abgar IX of Edessa and declares Edessa a Roman colony
Septimus 1976: Liverpool murders Crusaders of Ireland over two legs and declares all free Irishmen Liverpool citizenship.
217: the Baths of Caracalla are inaugurated
Octavius 1976: The Baths of Woolton are given Olympic Pool status.
217: Caracalla is murdered in Edessa
Numa Pompilius 1976: Trabzonspor are murdered at Anfield
218: Marcus Aurelius Antoninus, the last of the Antonines, becomes emperor and promoties the cult of Elegabalus, a Syriac sun god
Janus-Februa 1977: Kevinus Keeganus, last of the Keeganites, becomes emperor of Anfield after wins in the FA CUP over Crystal Palace, Carlisle and Oldham.
244: Shapur I becomes king of the Sassanids and attacks Roma
Mars 1977: Fairclough becomes king of the Sandonites and leads attack against Middlesborough.
250: Emperor Decius orders the first emperor-wide persecution of Christians
Mars 1977: King Kopite orders world wide persecution of Evertonians ahead of the FA Cup semi-final.
260: the Sassanid king Shapur I defeats the Romans
Mars 1977: St Etienne defeats Liverpool in France
284: Diocletian becomes emperor but rules from Nicomedia in the East
Mars 1977: Fairclough becomes emperor as his goal sends Liverpool to Zurich
298: Roma captures Nisibis and the Sassanids sign a peace treaty with Roma
6th-20th Aprilis 1977: Borussia Moenchengladbach try to sign a peace treaty for Rome as Liverpool capture Zurich
300: the population of the Roman Empire is 60 million (about 15 million Christians)
10th Aprilis, 1977: The population of the Liverpool Fan Base is 61 Million (about 16 million Chinamen)
356: Roma has 28 libraries, 10 basilicas, 11 public baths, two amphitheaters, three theaters, two circuses, 19 aqueducts, 11 squares, 1,352 fountains, 46,602 insulae (city blocks)
15th Aprilis, 1977: Liverpool has 42 Libraries (3 mobile), 1000 Pubs, 60 Picture Houses, 17 Theatres, 4 Circuses, 40 Canals, 70 Squares, 2000 Sherbet Fountains and 65,000 insulae (city terraces)
359: Constantinople becomes the capital of the Roman empire
20th Aprilis, 1977: L4 becomes the Capital of the known world.
363: an earthquake destroys Petra
23rd Aprilis, 1977: A ref’s decision destroys Everton at Maine Road
364: Valentinian delegates Valens as emperor of the East
25th Aprilis, 1977: Paisley delegates Neal for pens in replay
376: Valens allows Visigoths to settle within the empire
27th Aprilis, 1977: Everton allows Case and Kennedy goals in replay
378: the Visigoths defeat the Roman army at Hadrianopolis
27th Aprilis, 1977: Liverpool defeat the evertonian army at Manchester (3-0)
380: Theodosius I proclaims Christianity as the sole religion of the Roman Empire
30th Aprilis, 1977: FA proclaims Liverpool to play Mancunians at Wembly in May.
395: Theodosius divides the Roman empire in the Western and Eastern Empires, with Milano and Constantinople as their capitals
21st Maius, 1977 Greenhoff divides Liverpool defence at Wembley.
402: the western Roman empire moves the capital from Milano to Ravenna
21st Maius postus-matchius, 1977: The Liverpool empire plans its invasion of Rome
406: Barbarians invade France from the north
22nd Maius AM, 1977: Scousers invade London from the North
410: the Visigots sack Roma
22nd Maius PM, 1977: Liverpool fans sack London Night clubs
410: Roma withdraws from Britannia
23rd Maius AM, 1977: Scousers depart from Dover
427: Gensenric's Vandals crosses the strait of Gibraltar and lands in Africa
23rd Maius AM, 1977: Scouse Vandals cross the Channel and land in Calais
443: the emperor grants Burgundi to settle in Savoy
23rd Maius PM, 1977: Scousers drink Burgundy on their way through France
452: the Huns invade Italy
24th Maius, 1977: the Scousers invade Italy
455: the Vandals sack Roma
25th Maius, 1977: SO DID WE !!!!!!
And thus the Roman Empire fell and the dawn of the SCOUSE Empire began.
Next year's campaign, in The Champions League (yes we’re 'avin a laff) will begin in August. Will you be playing a part, in expanding the ever increasing borders of the Scouse Empire? I know I will.© Wooltonian 2004
View Comments | Post Comment