Spyin' Kop: Manchester United (Home)

Posted by Hightown Phil on March 1, 2007, 10:21:40 pm

The time has come to raid your local chemist and get the laxatives – the Mancs are in town.

Saturday sees us hope push ourselves back in the driving seat for that third position and hopefully start the derailment of the United title challenge. You don’t need me to tell you that there won’t be many more stomach churning sights than seeing them celebrate three points in front of the Kop, and with it surely the title.

We go into it on the back of a 4-0 win over Sheffield United and of course that famous night in Barcelona (sorry Clive), whilst United come into the game after an unconvincing performance at Fulham, and a bizarre win at Reading which saw them 3-0 up before I’d managed to go the fridge and open a bottle of Beck’s. Ahead of both teams are big Champions League games where both clubs will hope to move one step closer to Athens.

Some say it’s the biggest game in England, some say it’s the biggest game in the world. I honestly couldn’t care less, I wouldn’t want Manchester United to beat us at tiddlywinks.

And leave the Munich songs out eh? Lets just laugh at them, ask them what justice they want for Heysel? Ask them what happened to the Palace fan in the 90’s? Ask them what happened to the Spurs fan in the 80’s? Ask them what happened to the Boro fan in the 70’s? And whether or not they were singing that in Lille. Play nice.

As they have done on previous meetings of the clubs, Phil and Kevin join us and answer our questions.

So, I'll take it as a given that you're happy with the way your season has gone so far seeing as you sit 9 points clear of Chelsea?

Kevin If you'd told me at the start of the season that we'd be in this position, I'd suggest a severe head examination for you. The fat lady hasn't started singing yet though so I'm not going to let myself get carried away by it. We are quite good at cocking things up so time will tell how this one ends.

Phil Extremely happy, mainly because I expected us to be in 3rd place at best this season.

What's the biggest change from last season when you finished above us by 1 point?

Kevin Other than another 15 points? A settled side and a relatively injury free season, which is just as well as the players we've got waiting to cover such injuries are pretty shite.

Phil Ronaldo, Carrick, Scholes coming back, Vidic and Evra growing into solid Premiership defenders.

How long do you think it will be before Ferguson calls it a day? He's getting on a bit isn't he?

Kevin Well he's said that he intends adding another 2 years on his career and the only way he'll leave is when he says so. If he doesn't do anything about this alleged strong squad that he keeps telling us about, the sooner he steps aside the better.

Phil He'll go when he wants to go, apart from his unnecessary tinkering I'm happy with the football he has us playing this season.

Do you feel that the title race is over if you grab 3 points this weekend?

Kevin Without a doubt. A draw may even see the same outcome as this game and the one at £helski will be our biggest test.

Phil Not even nearly, £helsea have too much quality to call upon to write them off until it's a mathematical certainty.

Is Darren Fletcher still that bad or have you got worse than him?

Kevin Darren Fletcher is squillion times worse than the worst piece of shite that you've got. If he's still here next season Fergie has failed to get rid of the dead wood. Who would buy him though? Elgin City ladies team may just be desperate enough.

Phil He's the worst player I've ever seen disgrace the shirt, a total fraud. Worse than Ralph Milne, Peter Barnes, even worse than Veron.

What of Wayne Rooney at the minute? I saw a period a couple of months back where he was getting slated. What's he been like this season?

Kevin He seems to spark into life for a small part of the game. He hasn't lived up to his billing as a 17 year old as he's not going to be an out and out goalscorer, more of a creator.

Phil It's been fits and starts for Rooney, one week he looks unstoppable, the next he goes 90 minutes unnoticed. There have been many more 'unnoticed' performances this season than 'unstoppable' ones.

Two players have stood out for you this season -Scholes and Ronaldo - if you were forced to sell one of them, which would it be?

Kevin As much as I love The Ginger Prince it would have to be him on the grounds of his age. Ronaldo may bring in the money but after the season he's having, how would we replace him? Having said that, we haven't got anybody to replace Scholesy. I do think that the form of Nemanja Vidic has been a significant advantage.

Phil Scholes. He's 33 and in the twilight of his career.

If you had to swap 3 of your players for 3 of ours which 3 would you take?

Kevin That's a good question actually but if you think you will get me to admit that you've got 3 players I want, then you can think again. I wouldn't do a swap but I would insist that you take that previously mentioned Scotch bloke, Kieran Prickhardson and John O'Shite. In fact, how much do you want just to take them? ... please.

Phil You can have Fletcher, O'Shit and Prickchardson. I don't want any of yours thanks.

What is your opinion of our season and where do you think we'll finish?

Kevin A bad start and after that I lost any interest in what you were doing. As for where you'll finish, I don't really care but do know it will be below us.

Phil I've only seen 90 minutes of your lot this season, plus a few bits and pieces on MOTD, so I can't really say. I still think Crouch is a joke though, a laughing stock in fact.

Do you feel you can go the distance in 3 competitions you're going well in?

Kevin Europe, no. After we dispose of Lille we'll be out next round. FA Cup, I don't think we'll do £helski twice in the trophy front. The league, fingers and everything else crossed.

Phil No chance, we have 13 quality players, the rest are shite.

What line up can we expect to see from you?

Kevin The only one we've got. Van Der Sar, Neville, Evra. Ferdinand, Vidic, Scholes, Carrick, Ronaldo, Giggs, Rooney, Larsson. Although Saha will become a first teamer again when Larsson goes.

Phil van der Sar, Neville, Ferdinand, Vidic, Evra, Ronaldo, Carrick, Scholes, Giggs, Saha, Rooney.

Predictions time?

Kevin The head says 1-0 to you, the heart says 1-1. I'll follow my heart.

Phil 1-1.

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