Preview: Liverpool v West Ham - Sunday 7th April
Posted by StevenLFC on March 31, 2013, 07:53:39 PM
This week's preview is a bit different as it is highlighting a conversation between Big Sam & his assistant Neil McDonald that was overhear this week:
Sam Allardyce is sitting in his office when Neil McDonald walks in, Big Sam looks up puts down his phone before asking:
"What do you want Neil? I was just on Twitter tweeting about me ball sack again."
"Well boss, we play Liverpool this weekend, thought you might want to discuss tactics.."
"Tactics Macca, tactics? Haha, you must be joking right? You know the tactics by now Mac, we'll just hoo... Sorry, play long passes" *wink* "to Big Andy and see what happens from there.."
"But gaffer, Andy can't play this weekend"
"For Fergie's sake, is he injured again? What's he done now, sprained his wrist whacking me off in Karen Brady's office whilst sniffing her seat?"
"Err, no gaffer, that was you..."
"Oh, right yeah...Wait...Jesus Macca, I told you, I did this saving those orphans from that burning building, remember" *wink*
"Oh yeah boss, orphans boss....Anyway, he's actually not injured for once, it's just we loaned him from Liverpool so he can't play against them..."
"That's bull..., someone is disrespecting Big Sam 'ere with that rule...I bet you it was their manager...Rafa beedin' Benitez!"
"Err, boss Brendan Rodgers is their manager, and that rule has been about for years..."
"Rodgers... The fella who tells his side to keep the ball on the floor....how's he their manager, when did that happen?"
"He's been there all year boss"
"Can't say I noticed, far too busy with my Twitter and watching Man United games to notice such things like"
"Well gaffer, it looks like some teams like playing the ball on the deck, maybe we could try it...We could put Nolan in the hole, and instead of the defenders whacking it over his head to Carroll or Big Carlton, they could pass it to the midfielders, they could give it to Kev and we could go from there?"
"Friggin' hell Macca, what are you on about? That's not football. Football's about fight, bravery, running and being big....Nolan in the hole, haha. Only thing going in a hole round ere will be Big Sam's todge, right in Karen Brady's fa..."
"Ok, Ok boss... I getchya, we'll stay as we are, shall I go practice hoo..."
"...sorry gaffer... hitting long passes at Carlton Cole?"
"Errr, yeah I guess that's the plan, can't believe Benitez won't let us play Carroll..., he just does it coz he's jealous of Big Sam, what with me being so well thought of by the LMA and all...."
"Definitely boss, although I'm not sure he had much to so with it, he's at Chelsea now"
"What!?! Chelsea...well he's a tosser and so are their fans, I guess they must love him there..... Anyway Macca, time to go, I've got to get back to Twitter, plus Mr Ferguson will need me to wash his car soon, and if I do a good job he lets me sit by his leg when he's drinking his whiskey by the side of the M6 waving his tackle at passing cars... You go and get the midfielders doing weights to strengthen their necks, it can be tough watching the ball flying over your head all day, they need to be ready..."
"Right boss, anything else?"
"Yeah, get Collins to practice his long passes to Carlton...."
"Ok boss, that it?"
"Just one more thing Macca"
"Go on boss.."
"I'm off to Brady's office again, if you see her, stall her...."
"Ok gaffer, enjoy!"
"Oh I will Macca, I will!"
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